Basketball. It’s no tennis. But there is a ball and it does bounce, and now that ball is going to bounce a fiery hole into the ground after it’s lit on fire and dunked by the charisma and almost simian beastiness the news has told me Lebron James has.
Robert Siegel from NPR told me that the Heat are going to dominate the Kobe Bryant Lakers like Scarface dominated the US Government. I dislike LA strongly, perhaps because it’s the doppelganger of the biggest city in my homestate—Miami, except it’s doubly worse withe the plastic surgery and the ugliness and lack of public transportation although both have good weather.
I don’t love Miami, but I do love myself. And I come from Florida. And Miami is in Florida. And Lebron has chosen to represent me because he agrees in his calm objective opinion that Florida is the best of the fifty nifty United States. Only in Florida can you literally feel the cultural legacy of Disneyworld and Nasa and Timberlake/Speares and the 2000 election. Only in Florida is the weather perfect for people like me—people who can now have a favorite NBA team to follow. You can’t beat the heat. (You gonna get smoked).
